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Holleywood Squares Show

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  • Holleywood Squares Show

    There were some funny things on that show, here are some to remember.

    Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
    A. Paul Lynde : Loneliness!
    (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

    Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
    A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

    Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
    A. George Gobel : Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

    Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
    A.. Rose Marie : No wait until morning.

    Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
    A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

    Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
    A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

    Q. What are 'Do It,' ' I Can Help ,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
    A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

    Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
    A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

    Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
    A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

    Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
    A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

    Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other?
    A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

    Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
    A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

    Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls ?
    A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

    Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
    A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

    Q. According to Ann Landers , is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
    A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

    Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
    A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

    Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
    A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

    Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
    A.. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him .

    Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
    A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

    Q.. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
    A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh .


    :rotfl:

  • #2
    Those are some classics, alright! :lol:

    Joel
    There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. - Frank Zappa

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